[To Mrs. T.] Pulverbach, 25 August 1838.
O what a day this has been! First, fears and dismay; then, some distant intimations of God's sweet favour in conversation with some of the people here; then some attacks from another quarter, and a letter bringing iniquity to light, and many causes why the Lord should send the rod; and withal much mourning and fearing lest there should be no token of a spiritual Sabbath tomorrow. But while thus bemoaning myself the Lord stept in, and broke my heart with the sight of his beauty and goodness; and then, as is always the case on such occasions, I loathed myself and repented in (dust and ashes, and could by no means resist the double power and efficacy of his sweet presence, namely, joy and repentance. They wrought such a wonderful admiration of his matchless and unbounded love, so unexpected, so undeserved, yet much needed, for I had almost given up all hopes of relief during my stay here; but now I can, with a holy confidence, declare to my poor friends here how dear a Saviour I have found, and how near he is, if haply we "feel after him." So that I can now declare "The Lord is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works. The Lord is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth. He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him; he will also hear their cry, and save them " [Psalm cxlv. 17-19].
(Sunday.) I have had a very encouraging morning reading from the words, "How great is his goodness." If the Lord permit, I hope in the evening to speak from the following words - "How great is his beauty." [Zech. ix. 17.] But how can I describe the loveliest of all matchless beauty, especially when he comes into my heart under the most reckless misery and despondency!
While speaking in the evening I came to these words - "When thou didst march through the wilderness, the earth shook, the heavens also dropped, at the presence of God." I remembered how terrible a thing I had felt it for the Lord to march up and down in my wilderness heart; and how when one thing and another, which had been carefully covered, was by this marching brought forward against me, I did indeed tremble and shake. I also well remembered it was then the Lord, in infinite mercy, fulfilled to me these words - "Thou, O God, didst send a plentiful rain, whereby thou didst confirm thine inheritance when it was weary." Thus did he prepare of his goodness for the poor, or I should have utterly sunk into despair. [Psalm lxviii. 7-10.] I look back at those times with astonishment, and bless his holy Name, who has not left me to perish, but has led me to set forth the wonders of his grace to a few poor desponding souls here and there, who tell me it encourages them to press on, and never rest until they obtain the same deliverance. May the Lord bless you both.
Yours &c. J. B.